Biofeedback is why palms up work as well because we’re in a place where we’re accepting something. Think about what you’re doing when you have your palms up. You’re bringing someone in for a hug. You’re receiving something from someone else. But what are you doing when your palms are down? You’re pushing or slapping something away.
My suggestion, if you’re a stubborn asshole like I can be, start trying to watch, listen or read things after keeping your palms up for a little bit to send signals to your brain to get you in a more open mindset.
Try New Things in Therapy
If you’re one of the people fortunate enough to be in therapy, it’s important to go into each session open-minded. Hell, it may be good to even start going into your sessions and keeping your palms up before the session starts. What good is paying for therapy if we’re not going to take the advice from this person we’re paying?
I get it. Sometimes my therapist asks me to do or try things that I think are absolutely ridiculous, and I often have to humble myself and remember she knows what she’s talking about. I used to be the same way with my first 12-step sponsor as well. I started to notice a pattern though. When I do things my ways, I cause a lot of my own suffering. If you can relate to this, I highly suggest that you start being more open to suggestions.
When it comes to suggestions, we need to remember that not all suggestions are created equal, and not all of them will work for us, but that’s OK. I try to live by the saying of, “Take the best and leave the rest”. The important thing is that we at least try new things that are suggested for us to improve our mental health. Even if only 1 out of the 10 things we try works, at least we found 1 new thing that helps us with our mental health.
One way that I get even more value out of doing this is that I don’t think any suggestions are worthless. Although some things may not work for me, they must work for someone. I take other methods that didn’t work for me, and I share them with other people. I say, “This didn’t work for me, but maybe it’ll work for you.” We’re all different, and some methods work better for others. For me, meditation is awesome, but for others, they get the same benefits from drawing, playing music or going to the gym.
The Set Aside Prayer
Those of you who know me know that I’m not religious, but I did become spiritual. Part of getting sober was saying “screw my agnosticism, I’m about to die, so I need to be open-minded and try new things.” Something that I thought was absolutely ridiculous was prayer. I didn’t believe in God, so what the hell was my sponsor having me pray for? Since I was so desperate, I just shut my stupid mouth and did what he told me to do.
My sponsor and I would meet multiple times a week, usually at a Starbucks, to read the AA Big Book and go over the steps. Each time, before we got started, he’d lead us in a prayer, and OH MY GOD was I embarrassed. Even though he didn’t say it loud enough for other people to hear, holy shit was I embarrassed (even though I’m not as important as my mind tells me I am, and nobody was paying attention to us.) He’d do the same prayer each time, and it’s called the Set Aside Prayer.
There are a few versions of this prayer, but here’s one I found online.
If you’re looking for affordable therapy from the comfort of your own home, I personally use BetterHelp online therapy. I have a badass therapist, and I highly recommend this easy-to-use service. By clicking here to sign up, it helps support the work I do as well.
Originally published at https://www.therewiredsoul.com on November 3, 2019.