How Am I Supposed to Lie to My Son About College?

My son is 11 years old, and he’ll be 12 on New Year’s Eve. This year, in the midst of the COVID pandemic, he started middle school, and he’s adapted extremely well. He’s always enjoyed school and strives to get good grades. Although we don’t pressure him to get good grades, he naturally tries to give his all to everything he does, and I respect his work ethic at such a young age.

As a recovering drug addict with 8.5 years sober, my biggest fear was that he’d turn out like me, but he seems to be going down a good path thus far. Now, rather than worrying about him experimenting with drugs and alcohol, I’m worried about his work ethic and belief in a meritocracy being crushed as he nears high school.

When I was growing up, it was beaten into my head that if you do well in school your whole life, you can get into any college you want. For me, that college was MIT. Being born in 1985, I saw the dawn of the internet, and I was building my first computer at my son’s age. I was obsessed with technology and wanted nothing more than to go to MIT and become a programmer or build robots, but as I grew older, I realized that I was sold a false bill of goods.

We tell children that if you work hard, you can accomplish just about anything, and that couldn’t be further from the truth. My son can study hard, get great grades…